Sometimes...

I'm just damn tired. Bleh.

Someone please come and flip the switch that puts my brain in sleep mode.

The past couple of days have been stressful for me… I can’t even imagine how stressed out the ‘Guy’ I’ve been dating is.

His father has been in the hospital… just had episodes- losing consciousness, until he just didn’t wake up. He’s hooked up to a respirator in ICU and they can’t seem to find out what is wrong with the man. They are leaning towards a stroke… but they aren’t sure. They’ve said 50 millions things… *sigh*

Poor ‘Guy’ is a nervous wreck… so is his family. I’ve only been seeing him for about a month now… though I’ve offered him my shoulder and support… I can’t say I really want to go through this with him… This is the kind of thing that makes people get attached to you… and it’s tough not to feel his pain- imagining myself in his position. I’m not sure I’m emotionally capable to offer any comfort to him… I feel awkward. Suddenly having him depend on me emotionally, when I myself don’t even know what I really think about him… or his family.

But there I stood with him… by his father’s side… watching him fight his tears of concern and fear as he looked upon his frail father with the eyes of a terrified young child… and I tucked the blankets under his father’s feet…

For the first time in my life had a man lay his head on my shoulder and cry purely from his heart.

Sometimes people don’t have enough strength… and you lend them yours.
Sometimes family just isn’t enough… and you need an outside perspective.
Sometimes you don’t want to talk… you just want someone to hold you.

Sometimes… you just… can’t… and you need someone…

Please send positive thoughts and prayers out to James Foreman...

Restored health be his... he has life yet to live, James Foreman.

Desensitized…

There are times in our life when we become machines. Some of us do, anyway. Some people may work 2-3 jobs just to make sure there is food on the table and the bills are paid. Some people must care for others, due to illness or disability, 24-7.

The difference between the machine and the mundane robot is emotion. The mundane robot gets settled into habits/routines… but keeps all emotion and choice. The machine plugs along regardless of emotion… eventually void of emotion all together. The machine just ‘does’ and keeps ‘doing’ no matter what.

We desensitize ourselves in order to function and get whatever is required of us completed. We don’t have the luxury of self-indulgence.

Must work... can’t stop... can’t think... can’t feel...

You have to be made of steel to endure some of the trials and tasks of this life… sometimes there is no choice. Some jobs require the same… recovering from a natural disaster or a man made one… the machines plug away to recover, restore and rebuild.

You may think them cold-hearted and cruel... but without the machines some of the most gruesome tasks would never be completed.

Modified Opinion...

It’s quite interesting how your impressions of a person can change the more you get to know them. It’s also interesting how far a little honesty and communication can go.

The big guy has far more to him than I origionally thought. I am pleased.

Acting Stupid...

People get in the habit of acting simple, to crudely put it- stupid, when they are actually educated. It has a lot to do with the environment and peers they associate with. You adapt in a sense. I know I’ve done it… adjusted my way of speaking and relating so specific people could understand me better… and not make them feel ‘stupid.’

I use to speak a lot of technical jargon… I use long unfamiliar words to describe things. People would just look at me puzzled… and then lose interest all together. So, in a manner of speaking… I started using more simple words and ways of explaining things. I started speaking less of complex subjects and more about everyday brouhaha.

Everyone has a different perspective on life and what is important to him or her. These perspectives aren’t always compatible… and depending on the situation- we adapt. We either move towards people who think the same way we do, or we change to accommodate the group we are with.

Don’t think just because someone doesn’t understand a particular subject you are trying to convey that they are completely ignorant. They might have extensive knowledge on some other subject that you are completely clueless about. It is also important to keep in mind that you aren’t condescending when you try to simplify your expressions. Everyone has their own personal wisdom… their individual experiences… and we all can learn from each other, no matter what walk of life.

Me… I just say whatever the hell I think. Sure, at times, it’s inappropriate- possibly brutal… but you’ll always know what I mean and you’ll always know my true opinion.

No matter what level of education, what language or what walk of life… one universal message always conveys… respect and love.

Honor the people you come across in life with the same respect you’d have them honor you.

System Overload...

I am not wonder woman, though trust me… I would LOVE to be.

Sometimes my wee brain gets extremely overloaded and my thought process is clouded. I have soOo many things going on at once, I seriously push my limits. There’s multi-tasking and then there’s Multi-malwhatthefuckamIdoing.

Things at work can build up super freaky fast… especially if I take a day off. Which I did Tuesday. I come in to work today and there’s 50 million emails waiting for me. It’s very tough to prioritize when you have several extremely important people who call you randomly, suddenly needing a job RIGHTTHISMINUTE.

Hmm… is the FW Division President a higher priority than the Dallas Division? Is the Dallas Marketing Director a higher priority than the FW Marketing Director? Then you have to prioritize the ‘favors.’ My name is spreading throughout the company across several states… which I suppose is a good thing… but geez these people need to realize favors are favors, and though they are on a dead-line, I have my own dead-lines to meet!

And then I begin to lose childhood memories to store all this crap… from magazine ads to computer support… and I forget how to spell simple words. I forget who I am calling while I’m on the phone. I just completely blank out.

Person I dialed: “Thank you for calling bleh, how can I help you?”
Me: “Uh… oh uh… um… duh… did I happen to leave my brain at your office?”

What’s really sad is that has happened to me at the drive-through window of a fast food place… I asked if they had a new brain to sell me that has a good memory... the girl said they just ran out.

Keeping a to-do list isn’t working either… it started turning into a multi-colored scribble with everyone bumping my priorities.

I soOo can’t wait until my vacation in May. I’m going to curl up in Samantha’s pocket and hide away from the rest of the world for a while. No phone calls from work… no emails… no rush jobs. Just beautiful scenery, beautiful friends and fun. Yay!

My Mood...

Taurus Singles Horoscope Today: Your natural resourcefulness combined with the romance coming to you from the stars makes the next couple days full of possibilities. Explore all sorts of options, and pick and choose at will.

Well I tell you what… seems men come and go in group waves for me. It’s rather funny. I’ll go a week not hearing anything from anyone and then poof… EVERYONE is calling/writing/chatting on the same day. Am I putting out psychic sexual energy waves to the men??? Possibly… maybe when I feel I’m at my sexiest it’s my pheromones pollute the air… whatever it is… I’ll go with it, lol. There is one pending plan that I really would like to have happen… soOo…

I need you all to chant for me again. Pah-lease! Three times! Say it now, really quick while you’re thinking about it, please!

“May Robin get the sex she wants & craves this weekend, starting Friday!”

PLEASE!!!! Even if you are just a 30 second blog-by… that’s plenty of time to chant that for me 3 times.

*SmoOch* Thank you! I love you, ba-bye.

Programmed Modes…

There are points in my life where the mundane robot in me takes over and I seem to follow the programming of daily routine. Wake, Pee, Work, Eat, Work, Pee, Work, Sleep- Dream of Work.

I drive home… the drive takes 45 minutes- a straight shot home. There are times I don’t remember switching lanes, I don’t remember passing certain exits or entire stretches of highway… like I just blanked out and poof I’m home.

It’s like I follow a program implanted in my brain… a program of habit and routine.

People get settled in their programming… they maintain a routine of their daily rituals, their eating patterns and their sleeping patterns, etc. For some people having anything unexpected tossed into their daily program throws them totally off balance… causing panic, moodiness and makes their whole day seem to go down.

I guess that could be considered a form of compulsive behavior too… anyway...

I like unexpected things, whether good or bad. Sometimes I like to do sporadic things… anything that keeps me on my toes… tests my skills or challenges my thought. There are times I do like to keep to my routine though… and yes- if something causes me to break that routine- I get a little grumpified. If I plan on coming home at a specific time, peel off my work clothes and lounge… that’s what I want to do. If I have to work late because of a last minute request or run an errand after I’ve already changed clothes… I get a little bent out of shape. I huff and puff and grumble about it.

I think as we age, we tend to follow routines more and more. We get set in our ways… our habits… and if things change we get bent out of shape. I hope to be an eccentric older lady… although I’m guessing I’ll be an old spinster with tons of cats & dogs… I’d like to be spontaneous and down right nutty. Maybe one day instead of prunes I’ll eat apricots… maybe I’ll dye my hair a real blue… bright blue… to literally be a little blue haired old lady.

Whatever becomes of me… I hope I don’t fall into the mundane routine of old age… just waiting to die… like my parents.

Personal Demons...

We all have them… most of which lie dormant because we’ve never dealt with them. Know that if you have never confronted your personal demon(s), it is still there… and will wake… when you least expect it.

A personal demon is a corruption of your soul inflicted by some form of abuse, whether external or internal, and is not always obvious. It takes shape in many different things… anger, depression, insecurity, drug/alcohol abuse, sex, racism- etc.

The majority of us have not defeated our own demons, but rather turned our backs towards them- ignoring them… denying they even exist. We put them to sleep with hope they will just disappear… but we still carry the burden of them on our shoulders. As we grow older, those demons may seemingly stay inactive within ourselves… but can be passed on to our children, and so forth… making our personal demon bear its own offspring.

From your parents, to you and your siblings, to your children and their children… do you know what your family’s personal demons are?

I was going to give an example by showing my family tree... but it started turning into a book and I got damn tired...

Life Drained...

There are some people who enter our lives that totally suck the life out of us. Those people who just can’t be pleased no matter what you do… those friends who just can’t cheer up and spew all their problems on your shoulders… without anything to offer but woe. You try with all your best efforts to make someone happy, but it seems they prefer to stay in misery. These are the people who can instantly turn a cheerful day into a dreary woe-is-me boo-hoo fest.

These are the people you try once or twice with… but cut them loose right away. Otherwise they’ll have you reflecting their behavior. You spend all your positive energy on trying to help them… when in reality… they are nothing but mere leaches, parasites, living off of you… and in turn you will start doing the same to others.

End it! End it now!

I’ve Got References…

Dating has exposed me to a large variety of men… from short to extremely tall, from toothpick skinny to well toned muscles, from just down right stupid to extreme wit… but no matter the size, shape or even personality… they all use the same damn annoying line:

“I’ve been told….”

There’s a certain amount of flirting that goes on through email and telephone calls, which includes describing how you like to kiss and maybe other sexual innuendos. All usually instigated by the male.

HIM: “How do you like your kisses, Robin?”
ME: “Long and slow, with a balanced amount of tongue and lips… none of that washing machine crap… where your tongue is constantly on spin cycle. How about you? How do you kiss?”
HIM: “Well…. I’ve been told I’m a great kisser.”
ME (Eyes rolling so far back in my skull I can my brain) Sarcastically: “Is that so…”
HIM: “Yep… and I’ve also been told that I know how to use tongue well when it comes to the oral pleasures, too.”
ME: Gag!

Oh yeah?!?! You’ve been told eh? By who?!?! Some Secret Committee of French Kissers and Cunnilingus Arts Society?? Pah-lease! Do you guys seriously think we need references from ex-girlfriends on your skill levels? Do you think any of us are actually interested in knowing that some other ho bitch was there in that mouth before us? Hell no… when you say that, it makes us instantly think you’ve either been with tons of woman and possibly have cooties, or you are so insecure with yourself you rely on the reassurance of others… ‘Was that good for you honey? Are you sure… was it ok?’

Bleh! I’ll be the judge of whether or not I think you are a good kisser or have the art of oral pleasure mastered… The proof is in the pudding- so to speak. I don’t need no stinking references…

But… I’m sure I’ll hear it a few more times before I decided to settle down. Woe is me... WOE is me.

Flesh Consumed...

Carnal Consort…

Once I was involved in a relationship that was purely carnal. Sex, sex, sex. We never said much to each other, except during the “Let’s hook-up” phone conversation.

HIM: “Hey Robin it’s Sex.”
ME: “Heeeeyyy Sex, what’s up?”
HIM: “I have the night off this Friday, wanna hook-up?”
ME: “Sure… what time?”

This continued on for several months at least twice a week. We’d get busy the minute I entered his place, later order pizza, get busy again and I’d spend the night.

Morning Goodbye’s

ME (after taking a quick shower and getting dressed): “Last night was awesome.”
HIM: “It always is.” *smOoch*
ME: “I’m off then, see ya.”
HIM: “Ok babe, take care.”

We never casually conversed… we knew each others names, how old we were, and just about every square inch of each other’s bodies… but we didn’t know anything about each other’s families, daily happenings or good fortunes. Just sex.

I was quite content with the way things were between us… until he suggested we start really getting to know each other. It had been 5 months at that point… I thought ‘Why not?’ Wouldn’t you know, the very first real date we had was a disaster. We were as different as night and day.

He was a big time snob… I knew he had nice things, a great place and dressed really sharp- but I had no idea he was so freaking stuck up. He made fun of so many people that night… including me and what I chose to wear. I swear I was ready to kick his ass! At the end of the evening I went home, without sleeping with him.

He called the next day apologizing for the way things turned out on our first real date. He suggested maybe we try again, but before he could finish I told him it would probably be better if we didn’t try to get serious and keep things just as they were… pure sex. He agreed. We met 3 more times after that before we finally gave in to our natural dislike for one another… plus we had both met other people.

Sometimes things aren’t meant to go any deeper than that are… I’ve learned that sometimes- great sex is just great sex, and doesn’t a relationship make.

Another similar lesson I learned was: Just because you are best friends doesn’t mean you can be roommates.

So it begins...

In the silence of our minds lurks a darkness so profound we dare not acknowledge that it exists at all.

There is always one hopeless moment when we think all is lost… especially during the brooding storm of heartache.

I have been so heartbroken once… I literally stayed depressed for a solid year. I had no interest in meeting someone new, working or getting out of bed… I had no interest even in breathing. The ironic thing was I ended the relationship. I knew it was a bad relationship, but he was the first true love I ever had. He had opened my eyes to the world of adulthood… to the fact that I was a woman… and no longer a little girl.

The first love is always the most difficult to overcome. It’s almost like a death… not only for the loss of the person you loved, but for the death of an innocence… the belief that love lasts forever and conquers all.

And little did we know that the realization of this fact only paves the path for more innocence to be lost… we learn of betrayal, scorn and deceit. We learn that darkness does dwell in our heart… and we can hate.

A Personal Note…

You should know that even though my posts may be a bit on the darker side, this is all past reflection. No need for concern… I’m just exploring every aspect of my emotions.

Roar!

It is the truth… you still haunt my thoughts.

It's Eeevil...

Let’s delve into the macabre, shall we? I believe the next series of images I create will be that of a darker, more beastly nature. I will see if I can touch base with my more deviant passion… the eeeeevvil me... the morbid me.

Ancient Mystery...

Finishing A Bad ‘Act’…

I’m going to be somewhat candid about sex. That was your warning.

I’ve been noticing several of my own behaviors these days… more or less studying myself to, of course, learn about ‘my self.’ One behavior I noticed was how I react to a bad lover. I was clueless.

When you first start dating someone, you usually know right away whether or not there is any sexual chemistry between you… evident in serious flirting or fast paced physical affections. I’ve had a couple of extraordinary lovers, a couple of average lovers and my first really BAD lover- since I started back into the dating world.

If I know that there is really not going to be anything more than an occasional play partner, I usually try not to be affectionate in any way. No handholding, no sitting really close, random smooching or cuddling… it’s easier to keep from getting too emotionally attached that way. There are sexual innuendos and flirtations, but nothing really affectionate. When it comes to sex with an occasional play partner… you can be a little more open about what you like/don’t like. Nobody’s feelings get hurt and you’re not really being judged… sex with no strings attached other than to have fun and maybe learning a thing or two.

With exceptional lovers… everything just flows naturally and you don’t really think about anything… you just feel ecstasy- pleasure… uninhibited because fear never comes to mind. ‘It just happens.’ One of the rare moments you and another person are physically & mentally in sync… even if it is only during sex.

But… what about the bad lover? How do you handle the bad lover situation? How do you react/respond?? Well… you fake it. At least I did… The initial chemistry was there… the heavy petting and fabulous kisses… but when it came down to actually having sex… oh my goddess… WTF happened?!?! Two weeks of anticipation… two weeks of flirting and teasing… only to have it end in severe disappointment.

I knew about an hour into the situation it wasn’t going to get any better… I didn’t know that it could get worse. But- what are you suppose to do at the time? Stop the sex and leave? I couldn’t leave, he road with me. Should I have developed a sudden illness? Or just said… “This is not working for me and I don’t want to have sex with you anymore cause you suck.” ????? I decided to play out the night… thinking we went through a wee bit of trouble to make this happen… I’ll just let him finish- maybe offer a little direction.

My mistake… he didn’t want to ‘finish’ so to speak. Every time I took control to ‘end’ the situation, he’d just pull away and literally flip me down on the bed…. ‘Not yet…’ WTF?!?! Finally, after 4 hours, I started being my naturally rude little self and said that he drained the energy out of my body- which was true- and I was ready for bed. He wasn’t finished yet… and decided to brag about how he warned me it would go on for hours and hours… Well yes- yes he did… but I really had no idea that was a bad thing. Not only was I annoyed because the sex was awful, I was tired, becoming cranky… NOW the monkey wanted to brag and boast… more rudeness spewed from my mouth. Something about shutting his big trap and being an asshole by bragging. Didn’t phase him… not at all. I ended up having to play the ‘I feel woozy, the room is spinning’ card since we had been drinking. FINALLY! I got to sleep. The next morning before we headed out, I hopped in the shower only to discover my body was covered with hickies. I haven’t been this annoyed in a while… bad sex, lack of sleep and to top it off I looked like a freaking 16 yr old with hickies all over the place. I kept my cool though… figuring I would realize a valuable lesson.

Anyway… when I thought about the whole thing… I wondered what else I could have done differently. Should I have just been brutally honest? Should I have just taken him home and ended the evening?? Where was my freaking lesson? How awkward is it to tell someone they just don’t do it for you sexually? Especially when things are new…

I know not… but I can tell you one thing… I will never allow myself to drag out something I am not fully into ever, ever again. How I will end the situation… I haven’t a clue… but I'm not going to finish the 'act' if I am not enjoying it.

What would you do?

(Nevermind the poll I had here... it was screwing up the blog)

The Battle...

I can be wickedly cruel… stand-offish at times… guarded.

I was thinking how funny it is that I get this way and expect people to see beyond the walls… I expect them to see ‘me,’ to know ‘me.’

There are some people I am just naturally compelled to be completely open with… and others I just look at blankly, with a half-cocked smile on my face. It’s almost like there are some people I can be myself with, and the others… I just toy with- pass the time with. Coy flirting, seductive sarcasm… or down right rudeness. This just dawned on me today and it’s quite strange…

It’s tough getting to know someone… it’s tough finding a person you want to fully know your junk… and my being damn fickle doesn’t make things easier.


Phrase Of The Day

“Here kitty, kitty, kitty!”

Spring...

Ten Did I Mentions…

1. Did I mention I’ve put 1400 miles on my new car already?
2. Did I mention I’ve put 1400 miles on my new toys already?
3. Did I mention I’m still damn horny?
4. Did I mention my temp guy is doing great so far?
5. Did I mention I’m getting fairly caught up at work?
6. Did I mention I love fat, long tongues?
7. Did I mention I got a free porn DVD with the purchase of my toys?
8. Did I mention I’m so very ready to see my Kitty Samantha this summer?
9. Did I mention I like to be spanked?
10. Did I mention I’m still damn horny?

Wake...

How say you, oh gentle Miss, does a fickle kiss-
too heavy for the winds to lift, with no affair of just how swift-
ever, possibly, find its way?

I cordially do, indeed- insist, the puckered creation did remiss-
settling in a grounded rift, with no despair for the wasted gift-
leaving it here to simply wither away.

Sing Along...

I'm a little teapot, short & stout... with a rubber ducky floating inside, screaming to be let out...

Late Bloggage…

Well… for some reason I couldn’t connect to the Internet yesterday to post an update on my blog… so it had to wait until today. I didn’t feel like messing with my computer to fix the issue. Friday I was occupied, Saturday I was occupied and Sunday I just couldn’t connect.

The Toys…

Friday, March 4th 2005- they arrived. I didn’t get home until Friday evening around 8pm, having been at a Management Rally at the Gaylord Resort all day. I road with my boss to the resort- and we left Weatherford at 6:30am. I had a few drinks with dinner that evening, so when I did get home, I was feeling pretty damn good. I walked in the door, attempted to calm George from his fit of welcoming excitement, and entered my bedroom. There it was… the special package… lying on my computer chair. Joy and happiness overwhelmed me as I anxiously tore into the package. Three beautiful toys… a twinkle lit my eyes and a huge grin burst across my face. I washed the toys, supplied the necessary batteries to those that required them and laid them under my pillow to await my ‘testing’ later that evening.

The Toys, again…

Saturday, March 5th 2005- I awoke around 11:30am, after having a rather late evening on the phone with my upcoming date, then about an hour of ‘testing’ with my new toys. I got up, did the regular morning routine, then went back to bed having decided the toys needed further ‘testing.’ At 2pm, I finally got out of bed, hopped in the shower along with the toys to test their waterproof capabilities. Then I got ready to have dinner with my sister.

The Date…

Saturday evening, around 8:30pm, met the guy I had a date with at this little bar and grill in Arlington. After a moment of suffering huge smiles, we proceeded to approach the bar. It was much fancier than I anticipated- so we agreed to head to another place called TexAnna’s (A restaurant with a separate bar)- which was just our scene. We sat at the bar and conversed until it closed around 10:30pm. We were having a good time talking/flirting- and neither one of us was ready to call it an evening, so I asked the bartender if there were any pubs/bar close to us- so we could continue the evening. She directed us to a little pub just a few exits down from where we were.

The place was packed, but we managed to find a table in a little corner, and had a great view of the live one-man music show. The seat I had was awesome… seriously- it heavily vibrated with all the base and drum beats of the background music… I was in heaven. I had a huge grin on my face the entire evening at this bar… my date had his arm resting on my chair with his hand on my back. He leaned into my ear and said he could feel the serious vibrations in through my back and asked if that was what I was grinning about… I could not tell a lie. We laughed a little, then played coy flirting games for the rest of the evening. The bartender from TexAnna’s and her manager ended up at the pub later, and we ran into each other in the bathroom. They were excited to see me there, and asked if my husband and I were having a good time. Explaining that we were actually on our first date, they got all giddy and yapped my ear off until I went back to my date. On last call, they appeared at our table with two drinks for my date and I, their treat. They remembered what we were drinking from the restaurant! How sweet!

We were both feeling pretty good, and still were not quite ready to end the evening. We sat in the parking lot talking and smooching until 4am. He’s a fabulous kisser. I haven’t actually locked lips with someone so much in one night in a long, long time. He’s a 6’6”, broad/big 31 yr old man… dark short hair, dark eyes and HUGE hands. He’s partially muscular, partially out of shape lol… but looked damn good. He used to be a kick-boxer and is one of those guys who likes adrenaline inducing sports. His eyebrow is pierced, as well as his lower lip, his tongue and one of his nipples. He also has a few tats… so needless to say he had the bad boy look going on… but it was all good. Oh soOo good! Finally, after a while of sucking face, he invited me back to his place for a bit… but I gave him the boot. I’m cruel that way. I arrived home around 5:30am and was completely unconscious once I hit the bed.

Lazy Sunday & The Toys…

I didn’t completely get up until close to 1pm Sunday… I was damn tired. My date called me shortly after I woke. We talked about the previous evening and how much we enjoyed finally meeting each other. He asked if I would meet him this Tuesday for another date. I agreed, we flirted a bit, then I let him go. Having remembered the previous night’s smooch session… I became a little excited and decided I should give my new toys another testing… this time a more thorough testing. Toy testing went off and on for the rest of the day until I finally went to bed around 10:30pm.

My weekend didn’t consist of much… but I was extremely content. The toys are fabulous, the date was awesome and I got some much needed rest and tension release.

Today, I am a happy woman. Still horny… but happy. I eagerly await the next date to receive more oh-so-yummy kisses.

Late Breaking update: Date called, wants to see me tonight... so I will see him after work today! Yippie!

Come Away...

Work Work

My new assistant seems to be doing fairly well. He has initiative… figured some things out on his own. I am quite pleased so far. Got a little stumped today on some brochures I gave him to tweak & spiff- I didn’t give him any instruction other than to make it more visually appealing yet keep it professional.

He worked on that for a while and when I was able… I took one and did a little tweaking to it, showed him to help give him ideas. I think after a month he’ll get the drift of the marketing we do and be able to work all on his own.

Seems the ladies at work think he’s quite the looker. I didn’t really think about that when I hired him… I saw his portfolio and thought “OMGS! Finally! Someone who might be able to actually do descent work!” I didn’t think about him being anything else other than a worker bee… but the ladies at work have brand new eye candy to ogle. Me… I see yellow and black stripes.

Toy Deprivation

Well… damn it. It’s been forever and I never got my toys. I sure did get charged for them though. How pleasant is it to have to call during normal work hours and complain that you have received your sex toys?? How pleasant is it to call up your bank to try to reverse the charge and have to explain you never received your sex toys? Lemme tell you…

BANK: “Hello, blah bank customer service- My name is Blah, how can I help you?”
ME: “Yes sir... My name is Robin and I need to get a charge reversed back to a merchant.”

BANK: “Ok, (account junk inserted here). Thank you, now… why do you want to reverse the charge?”
ME: “The merchant has not delivered the goods and I’m having issues with their customer service trying to get my money back.”

BANK: “What is the name of the company and how much was the charge?”
ME: “Uh… it’s uh… Blah-Discount-Sex-Toys and the charge was for $64.79.”
BANK: “Did you say ‘Blah-Discount-Sex-Toys’?”
ME: “Yes sir, I did.
BANK: “I see…”
ME: "...“
BANK: “Um… well ok, you said you order something from Blah-Discount-Sex-Toys and you never received the product.”
ME: “To my dismay you are correct.”

THOUGHT BUBBLE: Did I just say that?!?! oOh Geez…

BANK: (I hear what seemed to be a chuckle under the man’s breath) “I see… and you say you’ve contacted Blah-Discount-Sex-Toys customer service department?” (I hear more chuckling)

THOUGHT BUBBLE: Great… I bet he’s thinking like Beavis & Butthead now… ‘Heh… she wants service…heh heh. Yeah, Yeah… Sex Toys… heEehehee.’

Finally, after a few more laughs under his breath, the guy got a little serious… I proceeded to explain how long it had been since I ordered my product and he said they would investigate the situation, then call me back. Then the call ended…

BANK: “Thank you for calling customer service, and I have to say- you made my day, have a good afternoon…” *CLICK*

I suppose now I’ll be the ‘phone support’ call he shares with all his buddies… chuckling away. *Sigh*

Anyway… the whole experience is damn disappointing. I picked out some winners too. So, still having my desire for toys buzzing my brain… I ordered from another site this past Saturday. I did NOT ask the magic 8 ball a damn thing- in fact I hid it so it wouldn’t see what I was doing! I got the email confirmation Monday saying the order was being processed, and later another saying it would be shipped Tuesday via 3-day Fedx delivery.

Though this time I didn’t get a lacy negligee… I picked out 3 very lovely toys- one of which is a small compact vibrator that is shaped like man flesh and made to feel soft. It has 5 speeds of pleasure, fits nicely in my purse and is blue. I am quite eager to receive these toys… and feel quite confident I will, now having the tracking number.

BUT…

I would still like for you guys to chant for me… just to add a little help in the safe delivery of my toys. What could it hurt?

Please chant 3 times, oOoh so sincerely:

“May Robin get her toys by Friday and have many pleasuring experiences there after.”

Thank you all… *smooch!*

Insatiable Appetite…

My sexual appetite has me going stir crazy… I’m restless and ravenous. I really don’t know why I’m so damn lustful lately…

Usually when I suffer Mother Nature’s Curse… I’m not interested. But, my hunger seems to be intensified by it… even through yesterday’s pity tantrum… I went to bed thinking about sex.

I’ve been looking at porn, fantasizing and even pleasuring myself at least twice a day. (With the exception of the past two days into the curse.) And it’s not like I’m not satisfied when I have sex or even take care of myself… I have multiple orgasms each time… I just want more. Addicted to sex??? I don’t think it’s that extreme, but teetering on the edge…

I’ll be driving to or from work… and just get this intense sensation- almost like chills- across my body… a sexual rush.

Has anyone else gone through that? I really don’t understand this… I have mixed emotions about it. Sometimes I even think “Damn it! Again?! RAH!” Am I reaching my sexual prime? Is it because I’ve experienced the highest pleasure I’ve ever had recently? Nah… I was still this way before I met Mr. Ecstasy Man.

Do I just enjoy it? Do I seek medical advise? And where the hell are my damn toys?!?!?!

(I know you guys have been waiting for a toy update… but I’ll have to post that tomorrow.)

And Today I Laugh…

PMS kicks my ass... lemme tell you! Oh wait... I don't have to! You read it for yourself!

I look at the previous day and laugh at myself for being such the drama queen. It’s good release though… for some reason when I write about the junk that really bothers me, I feel extremely better the next day.

I had a little piece of heaven… and who in the world wouldn’t want more? Damn it!!! I still want more… but I’m about move on. This last piece of heaven will always have a special place in my heart because it was damn magical! Pure ecstasy! But ahh well… what can I do?

Today… I’ve gotten asked out twice…. and it’s not even lunch time! Yay me!

One thing I’ve noticed is that as I lose weight… I gain more and more attention from the opposite sex. Can you say… Superficialicious-a-bitch-be-all-tha-bozos?

ANYWAY… I’ve agreed to one. I’ve actually talked to him on the phone/email/chat since December… timing has just never been right to meet. Now is a good time as any… and we’ve talked for a while- so the comfort level there should be fairly good to start off with. He’s extremely adventurous! From skydiving to racing. If anything at all… maybe I’ll have some adventure!

All in all... dating has at least given me a few unique experiences. All of which I treasure greatly... but I will admit it's damn tough to find a sincere, honest man. Damn tough indeed. They all are tricky tricky- and people thought us women were hard to figure out... geez. Thank goodness some of them are so damn yummy!

Meet the Folks!

I’d like to introduce you to my parents. Oh now don’t freak out… it’s not too soon in our relationship to meet my parents…

My Mom- Yolanda and my Dad- Robert. My mom is the little Mexican firecracker... she has a short fuse, extremely dramatic, but she's full of life, passionate, creative, imaginative and had fair beauty when she was younger. She’s one tough cookie… and trust me… you don’t want to piss this woman off. My dad is the grounding stone...laid back, easy going man who's been all over the world... he used to love tinkering on all kinds of things before his hands quit working right… very dry sense of humor… but a very compassionate man. He spoiled me something terrible... oh wait- he still does.

These are the people who made this mess called Robin. If you have any issues or complaints… please contact them at 1-555-YourDaughterIsANutCase or email at: FixYourDamnDaughter@theloonyfarm.com

Today’s Special Lyric:

All day loooooooong I dream about sex… All day I dream about sex, yes all day I dream about sex.