Life Drained...

There are some people who enter our lives that totally suck the life out of us. Those people who just can’t be pleased no matter what you do… those friends who just can’t cheer up and spew all their problems on your shoulders… without anything to offer but woe. You try with all your best efforts to make someone happy, but it seems they prefer to stay in misery. These are the people who can instantly turn a cheerful day into a dreary woe-is-me boo-hoo fest.

These are the people you try once or twice with… but cut them loose right away. Otherwise they’ll have you reflecting their behavior. You spend all your positive energy on trying to help them… when in reality… they are nothing but mere leaches, parasites, living off of you… and in turn you will start doing the same to others.

End it! End it now!

I’ve Got References…

Dating has exposed me to a large variety of men… from short to extremely tall, from toothpick skinny to well toned muscles, from just down right stupid to extreme wit… but no matter the size, shape or even personality… they all use the same damn annoying line:

“I’ve been told….”

There’s a certain amount of flirting that goes on through email and telephone calls, which includes describing how you like to kiss and maybe other sexual innuendos. All usually instigated by the male.

HIM: “How do you like your kisses, Robin?”
ME: “Long and slow, with a balanced amount of tongue and lips… none of that washing machine crap… where your tongue is constantly on spin cycle. How about you? How do you kiss?”
HIM: “Well…. I’ve been told I’m a great kisser.”
ME (Eyes rolling so far back in my skull I can my brain) Sarcastically: “Is that so…”
HIM: “Yep… and I’ve also been told that I know how to use tongue well when it comes to the oral pleasures, too.”
ME: Gag!

Oh yeah?!?! You’ve been told eh? By who?!?! Some Secret Committee of French Kissers and Cunnilingus Arts Society?? Pah-lease! Do you guys seriously think we need references from ex-girlfriends on your skill levels? Do you think any of us are actually interested in knowing that some other ho bitch was there in that mouth before us? Hell no… when you say that, it makes us instantly think you’ve either been with tons of woman and possibly have cooties, or you are so insecure with yourself you rely on the reassurance of others… ‘Was that good for you honey? Are you sure… was it ok?’

Bleh! I’ll be the judge of whether or not I think you are a good kisser or have the art of oral pleasure mastered… The proof is in the pudding- so to speak. I don’t need no stinking references…

But… I’m sure I’ll hear it a few more times before I decided to settle down. Woe is me... WOE is me.