Sam is soOo Gonna Kick my Ass

Rubber Ducky... You're The One.



What??? Did you say you needed to see this closer??

I'm sorry Samantha... but this was just toOo cute not to post. Oh how you will kick my ass next time you see me... cause that's not even the good one... but you'll see. tehe!

Trippin' on Da Way to Cali

My mom and my sister kept rushing me around… saying I wasn’t going to make it to the airport in time enough to go through security and catch the plane… but I did. With 20 minutes to spare before boarding.

I was soOo terrified… I hadn’t been in an airplane since I was 12 and all I remember from that trip is I was on the verge of puking ‘cause I was airsick.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, please secure your seatbelts and make sure all seats are in the upright position…” yeah yeah there was more to it but I’ve been stoned since then.

The plane started to move… I didn’t feel queasy like I thought I would- no nausea… I just broke out into a heavy sweat. I mean I had sweat pouring from my head. The poor man beside me must have thought I had some sort of glandular problem…

The plane started to accelerate and I felt us rising off the ground, into the air... It was awesome! I felt like putting my hands in the air and screaming “WooOOO!” I felt like a monk hootin’ and hollerin’ on a yellow rollercoaster……….

Ok, so maybe that’s an exaggeration… but I did seriously feel like putting my hands in the air and screaming “WooOOO!”

Honestly… it was a damn itty bitty plane- I totally wasn’t expecting to be squished. I would have just knocked my knuckles on the overhead compartment if I raised them up. I’ll have to post a bitch rant on how NEVER to fly America West.

Anyhoo… so ok we are in the air… I’m totally captivated by the view outside the window. I was just looking around, snapping a FEW PICTURES when I noticed some hairy little beast sitting on the wing of the plane. OMG! He was trying to pry up the cowling plate on the wing! I called the flight attendant over… explained what I saw and pointed out the window. The flight attendant didn’t see anything, then proceeded to ask if I was feeling ok and if I would like a beverage.

Well the next time I saw the lil’ beast I was already on to his game… I snapped a picture. He was actually quite friendly, though he used lots vulgar language. We hit it off and I got his contact information. He explained he’d catch me on my flight back into Texas and would leave the wing alone… for now.

Ok… this really didn’t happen. But I did take a picture of the wing- this photo is just an embellished composite of the actual photo I took… oh yeah… and Samantha’s boyfriend Chris, whom I have turned into the Twilight Zone Airplane Gremlin… (Chris is an awesome guy btw.)

I had a 4 hour wait in Arizona, which was freakin' hot and humid as hell, for my connecting flight to Cali. Phoenix Arizona has a gigantic airport… sheesh. I went to the bathroom… ‘cause there was no way I was going to use the one on the airplane… can you say Port-a-Potty. Bleh! I stopped in a little shop that had junk with Arizona plastered all over it… bought some Arizona junk and proceeded to a lil’ pit stop consisting of 2 double vodka & cranberry cocktails, a horrible salad and several cigarettes. I called everyone I needed to call to let them know I was in Arizona. Finally time for boarding… I was a wee tipsy. Got on the plane and dozed off before we even took to the air... snoring and drooling until the horrible landing in Bakersfield California… where the pilot hit the brakes so hard I actually went flying forward… thank the goddess for seatbelts.

To be continued… cause I’m at work and don’t have the photos I’m looking for… plus I should really be working… um… ok see-ya-later-bye.

Stay Tuned...

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait.

Sad Picture, Happy Post

Ok I finished this picture yesterday… my feelings were terribly hurt at the time, still are a wee bit… but I’m too preoccupied with my trip and packing and nervousness to write what happen… but I’m sure you guys didn’t want to hear me bellyache anyway… just know that the hair in this image is the tail of a horse and the mane of a horse... I finished this at work and do not have the same goodies installed as I do at home... so I had to improvise.

Off With The Training Wheels!

Wow! Tomorrow I fly to California to visit my lovely witchy friend, Samantha. I can’t freakin’ believe it! This is such a big deal for me… I believe I told you all that I’ve never done anything, gone anywhere… this is a big ‘Yes I’m an adult and can go wherever I please, by myself and make my own decisions’ event for me!

I’m soOo excited and soOo scared at the same time hehe! Like when you’re a kid learning how to ride a bike without the training wheels. You are excited and terrified at the same time. It’s awesome. I haven’t had this much excitement over anything in years… I can’t stop yakking & chit chatting… my leg is bouncing 90 miles an hour and tonight I doubt I will be able to sleep.

I probably will not be updating my blog but once or twice, if at all this next week. No graphics at all… hopefully Sam and I will be posting pictures though! I’m bringing my digitals so we can… tehe! The first thing I’d like us to post is a picture of us together! But we’ll see… we might be too busy cackling like chickens to think about photos!

I want to see if I can get a picture looking out the window of the plane while it’s descending… but that depends on if I get air sick or not heh. When I was 12, the only time I ever got on a plane, I was soOo incredibly air sick. It was awful!

Anyway! You all send positive thoughts and wishes for a safe trip, an awesome experience and for a virtual friendship becoming ‘Real,’ so to speak. Hehe!

I’m so nervous and excited about meeting Sam, and worried about whether she’ll really like me or if I’ll get on her nerves hehe… I meet new people all the time, but for some reason this is major hehe… maybe cause I’m flying across half the country to meet her for the first time- I donno but this whole thing is just awesome!

Sam!!!!! I’m coming! I’ll see you tomorrow!

The Voodoo You Do

Definitions of iniquitous:
adjective: characterized by iniquity; wicked because it is believed to be a sin

Definitions of iniquity:
noun: absence of moral or spiritual values
noun: an unjust act
noun: morally objectionable behavior

Love is supposed to reach out to all… without judgment or discrimination. That is true of love… however, the mind is manipulated, or molded- take your pick, from childhood… to try and recognize what is right or wrong. Ideas and beliefs are implanted that cause us to battle it out with our hearts and our minds.

But what is right or wrong? What is acceptable- the standards that we are raised by, societal standards or the qualities that make our lives richer by experience and learning?

The guy I’m dating has a past… some of which is fairly shocking to me… and some of it is still relevant today… I argue with myself almost daily about what I’m doing with this guy… he has children, he has a nasty past with drugs and the law… but my heart loves him. He is sweet, funny, sexy and completely open & honest with me. When I see the smile on his face I melt… I swoon. It’s my mind that argues his ‘baggage.’ I've been told what's acceptable and unacceptable.

So what do you do? Go with your heart, knowing there might be some trials and turbulence involved with the relationship because of the past… or do you focus on the here and now… the future, and accept the past with a forgiving frame of mind? And what of those people close to you, who cast judgment because they believe you can get better or don’t need to be involved with someone that has so much ‘baggage?”

Who has the right to judge? Who has the right to tell you what’s right and wrong for your life? I have people shaking the finger at me… I’m 31- though I may not have made the best decisions in my life so far, but I would not change a single one of them. I believe I’m old enough and experienced enough to know that what I feel for this guy is truly unique compared to my other long-term serious relationships.

The fact of the matter is… nobody can tell you what’s right/wrong for you… your life. They can only make the judgments on their own lives… and just because we may not agree with some decisions people make… we should not think that it’s iniquitous to love someone unconditionally, point fingers or even say ‘I told you so’ should the worst happen.

oOoOoH JOY!

Click the image to see it larger.

RAH! What a week… what a weekend for that matter. The good news is I didn’t freak out at all the rest of the week. The better news is I had tons of sex, in fact, so much sex that I was actually NOT horny for about the first half of Saturday… until Saturday evening… then everything went back to my normal lustiness. BUT, THE GREATEST NEWS OF ALL IS…. *insert drum roll sound clip here*

ONLY 5 MORE DAYS UNTIL I FLY TO SEE SAMANTHA! WOOT WOOT!

I can’t wait, I can’t wait, I can’t wait! Now I know this adds pressure to Samantha… worrying about keeping me entertained for a week… or probably wondering why the goddess is angry with her to curse her with my presence and how she’ll manager to put up with me for a week… but I say “No worries!” I’ve decided to provide a list of irritating quirks Samantha will have to tolerate from me, so she’ll have a week to prepare…

10. I sometimes walk in my sleep. The least of Sam’s worries, but still- I figured a warning was appropriate. Sam, you might want to tag me with a tracker… just incase I do sleepwalk… wandering the California countryside in my pajamas- in my sleep- may make for an interesting story and photos… but I’d prefer to be conscious during my gallivanting and to not be eaten by mountain lions at any point during my visit.

9. I drool in my sleep. Yes… sadly it’s true… I think I’ve admitted it before… oh wait! Sam told me to bring my own pillow… soOo maybe this isn’t too much of an issue! I can drool on my pillow anytime I want! But… Sam may have to tolerate seeing the lil’ drool spots on my pillowcase. Eew!

8. For the safety and sanity of Samantha’s family and pets, she should Avoid feeding Robin Black Beans at all costs! I love black beans… but black beans do NOT love me.

7. Robin is Rude. “No way!” You might exclaim… but it’s true… I am rude… not meaning to be of course, however, being a person who speaks her mind- I can just blurt out the first thing that comes to thought- which may not always be appropriate. Samantha has the permission to kick me in the knee anytime she feels I’m being too rude. You bloggers bear witness to my virtual consent… and make sure she posts how many times she kicks me.

6. If to hysterically tickled by witty repartee, Robin tends to laugh like a donkey in heat… causing her to hyperventilate- resulting in the wetting of the under pants. Try not to make me laugh too hard… it can quickly spread into an epidemic, resulting in uncontrollable group hysterics and wetting of the under pants.

5. I snore… oh this isn’t just a wee warning. I’ve been told I can saw some serious lumber… just roll me over. If that doesn’t work, the stuffing of the pillow in the face is guaranteed to stop the snoring… but unless Sam is ready to take on a Robin Zombie or to be haunted by the Ghost of Robin, it is not recommended.

4. If I have food stuck in my teeth… and there is no toothpick/toothbrush/dental floss around… what do I do people??? That’s right… I use a piece of my hair. I will try to keep it discrete, but you may catch a glimpse of this in action out of the corner of your eye.

3. Tons of Photos being taken. Ok… not a big deal you may think… but, considering I’ll be using my digital camera… taking tons of photos will result in the need to upload them onto a computer- this will probably have to be done daily.

2. I space out often and frequently. This is an extremely bad habit of mine… it took years to perfect… keeping myself entertained in the confines of my own brain- one of my many rude behaviors… HOWEVER, this can be a plus too…

1. I may never want to leave! Samantha may just have to tie me up, stuff me in a box and FedX my ass back to Texas… cause once I meet my friend, who I love so dearly… I may never want to let her go… or I may just stuff Samantha in my pocket and sneak her back to Texas with me… I’m sure there’s a couple of people I know who would help me with the stealing of Samantha wink wink Phoibos!

0. Yes… there’s a number zero… I need to mention that my southern accent may get a little annoying after a while… the cute Texas Y’alls and Fixin’ to’s may very well drive you insane. Mmm K?

I’m off to see the Sistah! The Wonderful Sistah of Ahhs! She should be able to handle that stuff… don’t you think??? Ooh the anxiety! I love you Sam! I’ll be there Saturday!

In Other News…

There’s a story behind the angel pic… a mushy story that entails dreamy love, sweet romance and steamy sensual sex… all ironic to monster little me… but eh… too busy thinking about Sam to write that other junk!

Up-Side-Down

Sunny-side upside-down…
Topsy-turvy and all spun around…
Muffled, muted, whiney whimper…
Fidgeting tongue with a quick-draw temper.

Wow. I mean wOW… I haven’t had a day like yesterday in quite a while. I certainly hope my new year as a thirty-something doesn’t continue they way it began.

My entire day was full of aggravation- from the drive into work, work itself, arriving home and arriving to his house… RAH!

I did get a smile from giving his mother a birthday present… as her birthday was the same day as mine… but that quickly turned to a frown after his brother’s woman was obviously bested by the gift I gave, and proceeded to shove the crappy dollar-store shadow box she got his mother in my face… literally in my face… sad thing is the brother has a wee bit o’money- they just didn’t spend it on mom.

I had wanted to make his mother a necklace for a while now… but instead of making it completely by hand, I gave her a sterling 24inch Italian rope chain with a 2.5” oval Blue Lace Agate pendant… (I make/sell jewelry, btw.) I gave her this particular stone not only because her favorite color is baby blue… but because of the metaphysical properties of the stone. Blue Lace Agate can be used for a variety of things… but the purpose I charged it with was for Peace/healing of mind, body and soul… considering she just lost her husband a few weeks ago and her health is extremely poor.

Anyway… I was pretty damn irritable all day, not to mention mopey. Things finally seemed like they were improving while in his company. We went to have a couple of drinks, flirted a bit and headed back to his. As we arrived, his cousin came out the door, stepping right in front of my car… I just about ran her over! His ex was on the phone and thought she was going into labor.

Now I knew this was coming… I thought after much conversing with him about my feelings and junk that I would be able to cope when the time came. Boy was I wrong. It hit me like a ton of bricks… and for the second time in one day, I freaked out.

I’ll spare you all the gory details of the frantic ramblings and the sobbing phone call to my ex… but I will tell you my eyes were so damn swollen when I woke up this morning I could barely see. I looked like I had been in a boxing match. I haven’t cried that hard in a long, long time. Sure the events of the day played a huge role in my 2nd freak-out, this was just the dingle-berry atop the heaping mound o’shit given to me on my birthday.

Today I’ve been incredibly drained… I felt numb- but still horny… which just makes me think I should seek professional help. Ahh well… tomorrow is another day… and my eyes won’t be swollen and buggy.

Scrappy Berf Day To Me...

Yep peoples… it’s true. Today is my birthday… freaking 31 years old.

Well… it’s never been a secret… I’m spoiled rotten. I’m a selfish brat… and damn proud of it at this particular point in my life. Yes… everything is about me… what I want, what I need and what makes me happy. It took a long time for me to learn I can say no to my parents… I can say no to my sisters… and that I do need to worry about me… cause if I take on all the other junk my family has going on- I’d look like THIS. Not having children, or any major responsibilities other than rent, car and my pets, tends to irk people sometimes… because I can just pick up and go whenever I want.

I’ve been under a certain about of stress lately… some of it self-induced… the rest of it just the normal brouhaha of daily living. I’ve also been aware of turmoil brewing between my sister and I, as well as the rest of the family. Unfortunately, it came out this morning in a huge, fantastic argument with my sister on the drive in to work.

Dude! I flipped out! Whoa! My mouth was all filthy with profanity and I was not in the damn mood to discuss anything… did that stop sister from making me? Hell no… and then bam… she says something extremely ugly.

Usually arguments consist of much back and forth on who did what, why, when and where… mostly you hear “Well you do this… oh yeah… that’s because you do this” type of thing. When the score is tallied up, and one person is in the lead- the other person will bust out with a low blow below the belt. If I had balls, they’d have been kicked up into my throat thanks to a low blow from my sister.

I rarely freak out like this… but when I do… run for cover, AND it has to be something pretty dang offensive to me. I won’t go into all the ugly specifics… but let’s just say the start of my day resulted in smeared mascara running down my cheeks, swollen eyes and a severely scrunched up pissy facial expression.

Oh joy! I got the spend my birthday looking like crap and having tons of people come wish me well… then ask me “Are you ok? Do you have allergies? Were you crying? Did you party too much last night?” My lip quivered with aggravation… and more filth danced around in my head… but I bit my tongue.

oOh so very moody but… it’s my party and I’ll freak out if I damn well want too!

Now For Something Completely Different…

I’ve discovered a unique quirk I have… rather my body has, umm ok my boobies have… a type of reflex. I’ve noticed that when I have an orgasm, my nipples get really hard. “OK” you’re thinking… “what’s so unique about that???” Well my friends I’ll tell you… I’ve discovered that depending on the magnitude of the orgasm, my nipples respond differently.

When I have a small orgasm… only my right nipple gets hard. That’s it… just the right nipple- the other seems to be asleep or something. When I have a marvelous Right-O that makes me yodel- both my nipples get rock hard.

At this point you must be thinking I’m crazy… but that’s ok- I never said I was sane. And yes, I do pay attention to that silly stuff- I know my body.

I’ve tested this theory… several times on my own… and a couple of times with my guy. We laughed and laughed about it… it’s just silly to notice, but funny make happen. Now he has a goal… and a means to tell just how much he pleased me… cause the nipples don’t lie… at least not for another 10-15 years until they point at my toes for the remainder of my life.

So… incase I ever do that 100 things list… I have one lil’ perky quirk to add to that list.