Trippin' on Da Way to Cali
My mom and my sister kept rushing me around… saying I wasn’t going to make it to the airport in time enough to go through security and catch the plane… but I did. With 20 minutes to spare before boarding.
I was soOo terrified… I hadn’t been in an airplane since I was 12 and all I remember from that trip is I was on the verge of puking ‘cause I was airsick.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, please secure your seatbelts and make sure all seats are in the upright position…” yeah yeah there was more to it but I’ve been stoned since then.
The plane started to move… I didn’t feel queasy like I thought I would- no nausea… I just broke out into a heavy sweat. I mean I had sweat pouring from my head. The poor man beside me must have thought I had some sort of glandular problem…
The plane started to accelerate and I felt us rising off the ground, into the air... It was awesome! I felt like putting my hands in the air and screaming “WooOOO!” I felt like a monk hootin’ and hollerin’ on a yellow rollercoaster……….
Honestly… it was a damn itty bitty plane- I totally wasn’t expecting to be squished. I would have just knocked my knuckles on the overhead compartment if I raised them up. I’ll have to post a bitch rant on how NEVER to fly America West.
Anyhoo… so ok we are in the air… I’m totally captivated by the view outside the window. I was just looking around, snapping a FEW PICTURES when I noticed some hairy little beast sitting on the wing of the plane. OMG! He was trying to pry up the cowling plate on the wing! I called the flight attendant over… explained what I saw and pointed out the window. The flight attendant didn’t see anything, then proceeded to ask if I was feeling ok and if I would like a beverage.
Well the next time I saw the lil’ beast I was already on to his game… I snapped a picture. He was actually quite friendly, though he used lots vulgar language. We hit it off and I got his contact information. He explained he’d catch me on my flight back into Texas and would leave the wing alone… for now.
I had a 4 hour wait in Arizona, which was freakin' hot and humid as hell, for my connecting flight to Cali. Phoenix Arizona has a gigantic airport… sheesh. I went to the bathroom… ‘cause there was no way I was going to use the one on the airplane… can you say Port-a-Potty. Bleh! I stopped in a little shop that had junk with Arizona plastered all over it… bought some Arizona junk and proceeded to a lil’ pit stop consisting of 2 double vodka & cranberry cocktails, a horrible salad and several cigarettes. I called everyone I needed to call to let them know I was in Arizona. Finally time for boarding… I was a wee tipsy. Got on the plane and dozed off before we even took to the air... snoring and drooling until the horrible landing in Bakersfield California… where the pilot hit the brakes so hard I actually went flying forward… thank the goddess for seatbelts.
To be continued… cause I’m at work and don’t have the photos I’m looking for… plus I should really be working… um… ok see-ya-later-bye.
I was soOo terrified… I hadn’t been in an airplane since I was 12 and all I remember from that trip is I was on the verge of puking ‘cause I was airsick.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, please secure your seatbelts and make sure all seats are in the upright position…” yeah yeah there was more to it but I’ve been stoned since then.
The plane started to move… I didn’t feel queasy like I thought I would- no nausea… I just broke out into a heavy sweat. I mean I had sweat pouring from my head. The poor man beside me must have thought I had some sort of glandular problem…
The plane started to accelerate and I felt us rising off the ground, into the air... It was awesome! I felt like putting my hands in the air and screaming “WooOOO!” I felt like a monk hootin’ and hollerin’ on a yellow rollercoaster……….
Honestly… it was a damn itty bitty plane- I totally wasn’t expecting to be squished. I would have just knocked my knuckles on the overhead compartment if I raised them up. I’ll have to post a bitch rant on how NEVER to fly America West.
Anyhoo… so ok we are in the air… I’m totally captivated by the view outside the window. I was just looking around, snapping a FEW PICTURES when I noticed some hairy little beast sitting on the wing of the plane. OMG! He was trying to pry up the cowling plate on the wing! I called the flight attendant over… explained what I saw and pointed out the window. The flight attendant didn’t see anything, then proceeded to ask if I was feeling ok and if I would like a beverage.
Well the next time I saw the lil’ beast I was already on to his game… I snapped a picture. He was actually quite friendly, though he used lots vulgar language. We hit it off and I got his contact information. He explained he’d catch me on my flight back into Texas and would leave the wing alone… for now.
I had a 4 hour wait in Arizona, which was freakin' hot and humid as hell, for my connecting flight to Cali. Phoenix Arizona has a gigantic airport… sheesh. I went to the bathroom… ‘cause there was no way I was going to use the one on the airplane… can you say Port-a-Potty. Bleh! I stopped in a little shop that had junk with Arizona plastered all over it… bought some Arizona junk and proceeded to a lil’ pit stop consisting of 2 double vodka & cranberry cocktails, a horrible salad and several cigarettes. I called everyone I needed to call to let them know I was in Arizona. Finally time for boarding… I was a wee tipsy. Got on the plane and dozed off before we even took to the air... snoring and drooling until the horrible landing in Bakersfield California… where the pilot hit the brakes so hard I actually went flying forward… thank the goddess for seatbelts.
To be continued… cause I’m at work and don’t have the photos I’m looking for… plus I should really be working… um… ok see-ya-later-bye.
Noodled by Burninghair at 2:04 PM
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