Who, What, Why, When, Where and How…

My thoughts have me studying the dust that has collected on my stereo speaker. Maybe… if I clean my room… I’ll cleanse my spirit as well. Maybe unnecessary negativity has stored itself within these particles of dirt, smoke, ash and cat hair… collectively forming in a neglected mass of waste polluting my safe haven with unwanted sadness and troubles.

But… I feel as heavy as a rock. My thoughts seem to weigh a ton and have me planted in front of the stereo speaker… I can’t move. My head is soOo heavy… my chest rising and falling in long, slow motions… my breath is heavy too. The pit of my belly feels like it holds a thousand stones… and I… can’t move.

Echoes resonate in my ear… laughter… heavy sighs of pleasure… morning moans of comfort cradled next to warmth… and there is no other sound that can penetrate my ears.

Vivid images flicker through my mental eye… a toothy smile… a slender torso… beautiful eyes… and I can’t see anything else.

I can’t remember anything else…

I hear my own trembling voice ask questions I have asked myself repeatedly… so many times before…

Who am I?
What am I doing?
Why am I here?
Where am I going?
When did I get here?
How did I lose myself?

My thoughts have me staring into emptiness… into black, questioning the greatest cliché of all clichés…

I heard my own voice again… but this time it didn’t come from my own lips. At first, it sounded as if it were above me- drifting down in front of me, then to my side. I turned my head- coming face to face with my reflection in the mirror hanging on my wall… and I remembered…

I am Robin…
I am experiencing life in its truest form…
I am wherever I want to be…
I will go wherever my heart leads me…
I arrived the moment I first opened my eyes…
And I am not lost… I am right here.

George let out a low, soft growl… he wants to go outside.

I am free…

As we headed towards the back door, I had but one simple thought… “Tonight, I will burn sweetgrass.”