Dreaming of EX

I was dreaming about the ex last night. I went to work with him… I met the girl he told me he thought was interested in him… and I hung out with her in my dream. She was way too young… but seemed like a nice person.

Anyway… ex and I were walking everywhere together, holding hands. It was quite strange. When he first introduced me to the girl I felt a little jealous… and then I thought it was what he needed to move on. Great sadness filled my heart as he went back to work and I went to have lunch with the girl. She had light brown hair… she wasn’t beautiful, but was attractive. When we got back from lunch, ex came down and hugged her… kissed her on the head… while holding my hand.

Anyway… she and ex went off… and I was stuck at his place of work. I called a taxi and went home.

Ex is Strange

I’ve been trying to be ex’s friend… but it’s difficult when the wounds run deep. I have to say I loved him tremendously… that I thought he was it… but I wasn’t the one for him. I wasn’t the one he loved with all his heart… I wasn’t his true love. That hurt me more than anything I’ve felt before.

So, I get an email from ex this morning saying he couldn’t subject himself to my life anymore… that totally baffled me. When did he ever subject his life to mine? It was always about him… how he felt… what he was ready to do.



So… to quit the stupid games I told him to fuck off… the big dummy needs a kick in the ass to move on… so there it is.

I can’t go back to him… he doesn’t want me anyway… and plus he thinks my religious studies and magic beliefs are evil… and he never respected me as a person with thoughts and opinions.

I guess that sad thing is, I still love him…. but I desperately want to move on… I need to move on. So does he.

I don’t think you ever truly stop loving the people who have been a part of your life for so long… I think you just learn to accept it and learn how to love someone else in a different way.