Ho Ho Uhh... Heh, you said Ho.
Uh uhh! Don’t yew be ho ho’in at me fat boy! Yew ain’t never gonna get some thadda way.. ho ho ho’in every 5 minutes… makes yew sound desp’rate! Ya yakee!
So I gots the humbug blues myself… my family is soOo depressing most of the time. No tree… no one wants to bother. No lights... no one wants to bother. No joyful cheer… why bother. Heh. Easily sucks the mood right out of you.
But secretly… I harbor feelings of Yule! I love to spend money… I love to buy gifts for other people… so give me the season where it’s expected for people to spend money on gifts and I’m gun ho ho ho! I don’t even fret over being broke afterwards.
Things I love at Yule:
1. Spend Money- from dollar store to name-brand department store, give me buggy- will travel.
2. Give Gifts- I love to see people open gifts, especially if they are from me.
3. Sing Holiday Tunage. I like to sing anyway… not that I can actually hold a tune… but anyone singing- bad or good, always makes me happy.
4. Eat tons of SweEtz- sugar sugar sugar!
5. Look at Christmas Lights. Who doesn’t like looking at twinkling, sparkling, shiny lights?! (except epileptics)
6. After Christmas Sales! Spending more money, but this time on myself! Wee!
Things I hate at Yule:
1. Gift Wrap- you figure with my artistic talents I’d be able to make presents look beautiful… but they are just a taped mess!
2. Clean up the mess of torn wrapping paper… I like mess… I don’t like cleaning it.
3. The extra poundage added to my buttocks after eating so many sweEtz.
4. The crappy thoughtless gifts my family gives me… the pants that are 5 sizes too small, the silly knickknacks I have no place to put… I don’t care how much money you spend… just make it sentimental! Make me a batch of cookies carefully decorated with love and gum drop buttons and you’ll win my heart, not to mention my belly! (but my buttocks will dislike you plenty)
5. Shopping at the last minute, which I always do. I hate the hoards of rude, frantic peoples crowding in the department stores… not to mention the check-out line, parking lot and the roadways.
6. The lack of paid time off from work between January to May. No friggin' holidays!
Something Shipping That Way Goes…
Well some crazy-ass mountain folk will be getting a package from me, hopefully in 2-3 days. I hope they at least like one thing out of the lot. I soOo wish I could have stuffed myself in that package… you just don't know.
So everyone must chant!
“May the package Robin is sending Samantha make it to her safe and sound in 2-3 days!”
Please! For the joy of receiving and giving, for the spirit of the holidays, chant that 3 times!
Thank you! SmOoch!
So I gots the humbug blues myself… my family is soOo depressing most of the time. No tree… no one wants to bother. No lights... no one wants to bother. No joyful cheer… why bother. Heh. Easily sucks the mood right out of you.
But secretly… I harbor feelings of Yule! I love to spend money… I love to buy gifts for other people… so give me the season where it’s expected for people to spend money on gifts and I’m gun ho ho ho! I don’t even fret over being broke afterwards.
Things I love at Yule:
1. Spend Money- from dollar store to name-brand department store, give me buggy- will travel.
2. Give Gifts- I love to see people open gifts, especially if they are from me.
3. Sing Holiday Tunage. I like to sing anyway… not that I can actually hold a tune… but anyone singing- bad or good, always makes me happy.
4. Eat tons of SweEtz- sugar sugar sugar!
5. Look at Christmas Lights. Who doesn’t like looking at twinkling, sparkling, shiny lights?! (except epileptics)
6. After Christmas Sales! Spending more money, but this time on myself! Wee!
Things I hate at Yule:
1. Gift Wrap- you figure with my artistic talents I’d be able to make presents look beautiful… but they are just a taped mess!
2. Clean up the mess of torn wrapping paper… I like mess… I don’t like cleaning it.
3. The extra poundage added to my buttocks after eating so many sweEtz.
4. The crappy thoughtless gifts my family gives me… the pants that are 5 sizes too small, the silly knickknacks I have no place to put… I don’t care how much money you spend… just make it sentimental! Make me a batch of cookies carefully decorated with love and gum drop buttons and you’ll win my heart, not to mention my belly! (but my buttocks will dislike you plenty)
5. Shopping at the last minute, which I always do. I hate the hoards of rude, frantic peoples crowding in the department stores… not to mention the check-out line, parking lot and the roadways.
6. The lack of paid time off from work between January to May. No friggin' holidays!
Something Shipping That Way Goes…
Well some crazy-ass mountain folk will be getting a package from me, hopefully in 2-3 days. I hope they at least like one thing out of the lot. I soOo wish I could have stuffed myself in that package… you just don't know.
So everyone must chant!
“May the package Robin is sending Samantha make it to her safe and sound in 2-3 days!”
Please! For the joy of receiving and giving, for the spirit of the holidays, chant that 3 times!
Thank you! SmOoch!
Noodled by Burninghair at 5:54 PM
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