Ardor...

A Quick “It Sucks” Update…

My 20-year-old niece got married this past Saturday… it was a redneck wedding. (I am soOo not kidding) I feel she’s making a mistake… too young… too inexperienced… too naive. It sucks…

My computer was seriously infected with several viruses & trojans… one of which made extra letters pop in while I was typing. After several attempts to remove the viruses, my system was so screwed up I had to reformat my hard drive… I just got it completely back up and running yesterday… with one major exception… my Photoshop. I had photoshop 7… now I have nothing… why??? Because my cd went poofy. I had given a copy to my nephew… and his went poofy. I don’t even feel like turning on my computer anymore… not without the main program I do my life’s work on. AND I still have one virus I can’t seem to get rid of… infecting a windows file csrss.exe. It sucks…

Trying to download a porn gave me the viruses… that totally sucks.

I am suffering Mother Nature’s curse this week and I am seriously emotional and sensitive. Even my dreams are reflecting my fears and concerns. It sucks…

I am horny, as usual, but damn the curse!!!! It sucks!!!!

My family is going through some major lows… my mom had all her teeth pulled and has dentures now. She hates them… she didn’t want her teeth pulled, but thanks to diabetes… she had to. She cried on my shoulder the other day- about how it makes her feel so old… about how they gave her horses teeth… and how it effects her speech and she is really self conscious in public now. She didn’t want to stay at the wedding… she didn’t want to eat or talk to anyone… It sucks…

Sister and I almost had a huge blowout again, this time at work. I hung up on her when she started bitching at me… BUT she works for the same company in the same building, so she just trotted over to my office and continued the bitching… I just said “Ok, whatever” and paid her no attention… she left and didn’t talk to me for a day or so… It sucks.

Sister’s ex has manipulated her son to the extreme. Sister was taking ex to court to get child support… though he’s 17, she wants some back pay… but ex told son he would get him an apartment and pay the rent until he was 18 (which is January) to totally get out of having to pay anything for the next year. He’s already threatened son, using the apartment as power… fucking conniving ruthless asshole. Sister’s heart is broken. What 17 year old can resist having an apartment with his best friend paid by his dad??? It sucks…

I feel totally lost… my plans, my goals… all scattered thanks to love and being consumed by him. He fills my every thought and I feel totally like a crazy person with how strongly I feel for him and my ‘MINE MINE MINE’ attitude. I don’t like feeling this way… it’s not me. It sucks…

Still haven’t hired a new assistant… too many other things caused that to be put on the back-burner. Our Houston plant merged into my building and the two Presidents mom died last Monday. Not having an assistant has put me so far behind… It sucks.

I haven’t got to talk to my Sam in a while… that really sucks.

I’m not my usual self… I feel totally lost.