Blog Dust...

Clearing the cobwebs aside, I'll pop in a summary, a resolution, A MEOW and SPAM.

The Summary

* The evening of my last post my nephews put up the Christmas tree. It was lovely.
* The evening of my last post the realization that- this could very well be the last Christmas I spend with my Dad- bitch-slapped me so hard I was seeing stars for days.
* The day after my last post my Dad had fallen down 2 twice and ended up unable to walk. He didn’t break anything… his right leg stopped working.
* The day after that my Dad was admitted to the hospital. My dad is paralyzed and showing signs of dementia.

Christmas was good but somber. My heart aches and I cry sporadically. I am Daddy’s little girl… even at the ripe age of 31.

I am super-freaky busy with my jewelry website & making, with ‘work’ work and trying to keep myself from emotionally erupting, exploding and extinguishing. Don’t worry though, I’ll be fine.

A Resolution

I quit making resolutions years ago… but this New Year I will make one: I resolve to be more organized in general.

Resolve to lose weight? Fuck that… I’ll always have chub… I’m over that heh… who gives a shit if I’m fat- it’s never detoured me from getting laid by hot men, and that’s all that matters… isn’t it? *heh* Besides, I’m soft and squishy… the way a woman should be.

I’d resolve to blog more but… I hate feeling guilty about not blogging when I say I will so, fuck that too… I’m more interested in establishing my financial security at the moment.

A MEOW

‘member when I posted about what my nipples do when I orgasm? No? Re-cap: Fabulous orgasm both nipples get hard, mediocre orgasm one nipple gets hard (only the right nipple). Well…

The other night I gave myself the most incredible orgasm EVER… no man, no toys, no porn… just my fingers. It was soOo amazing that both my nipples were rock hard and sticking out farther than I’ve ever seen… I had the biggest shit grin on my face, too. My cheeks were actually sore from smiling so wide and long. What is my point??? I created a name for it. This orgasm is called: A M.E.O.W. A Most Excellent Orgasmic Wonder.

Hey… so I’m a geek, but at least it’s better than my ‘Vantrilofartist’ creation.

SPAM

I haven’t checked my email in days… I go into my spam filter folder and suddenly realized as I was skimming the subject/from lines I was making comments…

CREDIT & CASH – Yes please.
REAL SINGLES – I prefer 12 packs.
ITS INSIDE – I fucking wish!
BRAIN UPGRADES - A few people I know might be interested in this…
POWER TOOLS – Mental Note: pickup batteries and a new porn.
POKER SECRETS – I should write a sex guide for men called Poker Secrets.

Now I shall place the cobwebs back in place and say… BITE ME 2005!!!!

Ho Ho Uhh... Heh, you said Ho.

Uh uhh! Don’t yew be ho ho’in at me fat boy! Yew ain’t never gonna get some thadda way.. ho ho ho’in every 5 minutes… makes yew sound desp’rate! Ya yakee!

So I gots the humbug blues myself… my family is soOo depressing most of the time. No tree… no one wants to bother. No lights... no one wants to bother. No joyful cheer… why bother. Heh. Easily sucks the mood right out of you.

But secretly… I harbor feelings of Yule! I love to spend money… I love to buy gifts for other people… so give me the season where it’s expected for people to spend money on gifts and I’m gun ho ho ho! I don’t even fret over being broke afterwards.

Things I love at Yule:

1. Spend Money- from dollar store to name-brand department store, give me buggy- will travel.
2. Give Gifts- I love to see people open gifts, especially if they are from me.
3. Sing Holiday Tunage. I like to sing anyway… not that I can actually hold a tune… but anyone singing- bad or good, always makes me happy.
4. Eat tons of SweEtz- sugar sugar sugar!
5. Look at Christmas Lights. Who doesn’t like looking at twinkling, sparkling, shiny lights?! (except epileptics)
6. After Christmas Sales! Spending more money, but this time on myself! Wee!

Things I hate at Yule:

1. Gift Wrap- you figure with my artistic talents I’d be able to make presents look beautiful… but they are just a taped mess!
2. Clean up the mess of torn wrapping paper… I like mess… I don’t like cleaning it.
3. The extra poundage added to my buttocks after eating so many sweEtz.
4. The crappy thoughtless gifts my family gives me… the pants that are 5 sizes too small, the silly knickknacks I have no place to put… I don’t care how much money you spend… just make it sentimental! Make me a batch of cookies carefully decorated with love and gum drop buttons and you’ll win my heart, not to mention my belly! (but my buttocks will dislike you plenty)
5. Shopping at the last minute, which I always do. I hate the hoards of rude, frantic peoples crowding in the department stores… not to mention the check-out line, parking lot and the roadways.
6. The lack of paid time off from work between January to May. No friggin' holidays!

Something Shipping That Way Goes…

Well some crazy-ass mountain folk will be getting a package from me, hopefully in 2-3 days. I hope they at least like one thing out of the lot. I soOo wish I could have stuffed myself in that package… you just don't know.

So everyone must chant!

“May the package Robin is sending Samantha make it to her safe and sound in 2-3 days!”

Please! For the joy of receiving and giving, for the spirit of the holidays, chant that 3 times!

Thank you! SmOoch!