I’m a genius!

Yes, I am a genius!

I created a new word yesterday… it absolutely made me crack up. I’m crazy… but you all should know this by now… if someone goes what’s that smell or what was that strange noise… I respond with “I farted.” I especially do it if something smells good, lol! Yes I get strange looks, sometimes chuckles… anyway…

In the bad neighborhood that Matt lives in, there were firecrackers going off randomly throughout the night. Well I’d like to think they are firecrackers cause it’s the 4th of July weekend, and not gunshots… the dog kept getting freaked out over those pops… Matt’s mom asked “What is that noise?” Of course my first response is… “I farted,” but I didn’t say it out loud. I started thinking to myself… I farted, I am a vantrilofartist… I can throw my farts.

Needless to say, I laughed out loud… people looked at me like “What’s so funny” but I thought it better appreciated in my own head…

SoO, my new word…

Vantrilofartist: Noun – The art of projecting one's fart so that it seems to come from another source.

I'm not on any mind-altering substances either… I’m sure if I were- it would be far, far more hilarious to me.

Sextantrum

Lover has had a severe toothache as of late… the other night he was in so much pain that he took a couple pain pills and drank most of my vodka dammit… needless to stay he was pretty toasted. I don’t know how in the world he did it… but he burned his dick with a cigarette. I discovered the burn while giving him oral pleasure… when I was still suffering the curse.

The curse broke this past Thursday and I was extremely hot… I’m talking Kinky hot too. Have been ever since… we go at it a couple time and he determines we need to give it a rest for a couple of days to let the burn heal.

WTF!!! I had been waiting a few days already! The curse had me down! Now! Now what?!?!? A cigarette burned dick.

No amazing sex… no shoot my fireworks off for the 4th… no nuffin.

IT SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!