Bleh Blogger

Well I donno WTF. I make a post, check it out... everything looks fine.

I come back a day later and there's funky html jargon posted where line breaks are supposed to be.

Steeeeeee-range.

My first post did that do and I had to edit the html to get the jargon out. Well, at least I can correct it. I wonder if it has something to do with FireFox vs. Internet Explorer. I started using FireFox at home… and that is what I have made my most recent posts in… hrmmm.

I donno. I hope it doesn’t become a pain in the ass.

Better Bloggage

Later… I’ll post more bibble later.

Postponage

Well my mom’s surgery was cancelled and rescheduled for Tuesday. Gravy.

I took off Thursday & Friday… which I was soO looking forward to tomorrow off. Her surgery wasn’t supposed to be until Friday. But, now I must go into work. Woe is me.

*sigh* I will reschedule to take off Tuesday and Wednesday… or until she is released from the hospital.

And now I have 5 more days of worry to deal with. The surgery is stressful enough, but being paranoid she’s going to have a stroke at any minute, especially while huffing and puffing a cigarette… and me mine, is maddening.

Toonage

I watched Flushed Away last night. That’s a great lil’ movie. I thought the adult connotations were a bit strong for the intended viewing audience… but overall it was great. I giggled and watched intently. The slugs are great.

Pigmy Monster

I got a new puppy a week after George was put down. It was probably too soon, but I do love him. I did, and sometimes still, feel guilty- like somehow I was betraying George. But I thought that there was nothing better to cheer up broken-hearted people than an adorable little puppy. See…

My Dad even got to see him before he died… he just shook his head at me with light-hearted disapproval.

His name is Bunker. He’s a rat terror… I mean terrier. He drives me insane. He will never, ever take the place of my Beloved George, he has no where near the same personality… quite the opposite, actually. But I do love him.

He’s soOo bad… a mini-monster… a very bad monster. He’s destructive when he’s lonely. He loves to chew cds. He’s eaten my Windows 2000, my Windows XP, my sound card drivers, 3 miscellaneous video games and 4 copies of Titans Quest. He’s also torn up the living room couch, eaten my digital camera cord and a pair of $65 Dr. Scholl’s that belonged to my mom… but I do love him. He makes me mad and laugh at the same time. Look at him now…

Could you stay mad at this face? This is really him, in all his terror, I mean glory.

Getting Current

Excessive obscurity. The thought process dissipates.

Work Work

Last time I wrote about work, I wrote about the crappy assistants I was going through and the company website.

Well, I’ve hired a wonderful guy who has been my assistant for just about a year and a half now. He has the skills, is very creative, has a wonderful personality and is a great friend. I had to fight tooth and nail to get this guy because the company didn’t want to pay for an experienced person. History proved we needed to hire a pro versus someone right out of school or the temp agency.

The only qualm I have about it is that he makes only $1.60 less than me. I’ve been with the company 6 years, I built the graphics department from scratch and I continue to run it/improve it and evolve it. Needless to say, I am pretty disgruntled.

The industry my company serves has been taking a beating… and they have had a freeze on all pay raises for a year. I am very upset about the various duties I must perform vs. the pay I receive… and I am seriously on the verge of saying ‘Bite me, I’m outta here.’ But… I gotta weigh the pros & cons.

I’ve just requested a new computer to support graphic design. The cost of the machine is just about $2500 (which is actually pretty cheap). I’ve also requested an additional design program which is $800. I’ve requested two of each to be exact, because my assistant needs to have exactly what I have since we interchange projects. If they approve the purchase orders and we get new equipment/software, this will tide me over for another year.

Eh not really, I’ll probably continue to be disgruntled, just on a better workstation. But… we’ll see.

The website was switched from regional to national… and all I ended up doing was handing over all the work I did for Texas to our National IT department. That was actually a huge relief. I still make miscellaneous web pages for the company- but on a much smaller level. Right now I do all of the advertising and marketing materials for Dallas/Fort Worth & Houston. We just started adding Austin- which will completely merge with us over the next year.

Ultimately, I run on burnout 75% of the time and have to be Wonder Woman- but work for peanuts.

Dear Goddess… I soOo need to win the Texas Lotto.

I guess my chances of winning would be better if I actually had a fucking dollar to spend on the Texas Lotto… WOE IS ME.

Family

Bleh. I won’t go too much into family. I have to tune them out most of the time to stay sane.

I will say that my Mom’s health isn’t so good right now and I’m so stressed out over it. She has 78% blockage of the left artery in her neck. She started having these massive headaches and went to the neurologist to have her brain checked out. Well the test results indicated that my mom had evidence of several small strokes, so she was sent to the cardiologist.

Anyhoo… she is having surgery this Friday to have the blockage cleared out. High risk of stroke or heart attack…

She also has to have another surgery to fix a hernia she’s already had surgery on- twice. This last time they put some mesh-like thing in there… and well it’s too large. It causes her severe pain, makes her sick and unable to eat much. My Mom weighs a whopping 99 lbs. She’s a mess right now.

I am a mess as well. I don’t think I could handle losing my Mom less than a year from losing my Dad… and my George. No matter how much a fruit-loop I think she is.

The Return

Wow… It has been ages since I have posted here.

When I logged on, the dust bunnies were entering their second world war against the dust mites. Spiders were being used as net cannons and tornado funnels of dust were whirling around… sheer virtual chaos.

So… I huffed and I puffed and I blew them all… underneath the desk. Sneezed a few times, but all was cleared enough to start pecking at the keyboard.

Time…

too little and so much.

The days have crept by… some slow, some fast. Filled with nothing more than eat, sleep, work, repeat cycle. Nights have always flown off too quickly for me. There never seems to be enough rest. None-the-less… time keeps on ticking, ticking, ticking… into the future.

It took 6 months for my Dad’s health to completely deteriorate, as did my beloved George’s health (George was my most cherished pet- mini schnauzer or son in a manner of speaking). Their deaths- only 2 weeks apart.

It was the most mind-altering, heart-wrenching experience that I still have yet to recover from. Most people tell me that you never truly ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you just learn how to deal with it and continue living.

George died in my arms. My Dad died here at home.

Me? I walk in a mindless haze of clouds, drifting in and out of reality. And here I am to begin anew- the journey through my emotions, as time walks beside me… as time runs past me… as time falls behind me. I am here and here I am… again.