Yeah...

So what’s this madness you ask?
I’ve been asking myself the same fucking question.

So it’s all a pretty big dramatic brouhaha… within myself anyway.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me guys… I’m in a funk. This whole moving in thing is turning out to be far, far more extreme than I originally thought. I’m crying just about every other night.

How much can love make you do? Or at least… what you perceive is love. I am miserable… I’m rendering myself powerless and I’m fully aware of it. I fight and argue with myself everyday about what I am doing.

I see his smiling face and my heart swells... my body turns warm and I long for his touch on my skin, his kisses on my neck and his body next to mine.

I came to write the details of what’s been going on in my life for the past couple of weeks… but the sad fact is I just don’t want to think about it.

I’m here. I’m not fully moved in… but I’m here.

I’m not really here… I don’t know where I am.
I try not to think about it… but my soul makes me.

So the last picture was about how disgusted I am… living conditions are that bad guys. I’m spending my money until I am absolutely broke buying things to try to help me feel more comfortable… really to keep the bugs off the food and my junk. Hence, the previous picture with the money… and the first picture… well there’s a dark dark cloud trailing me… along with several skeletons I can’t keep shut in his closet.

I can’t believe after everything I worked so hard to change… after the promise I made myself not to be irresponsible… I made a bad decision.

And I can’t go back… I just can’t.