Family Matters

My uncle died recently and the burial service was yesterday. I did not attend. My uncle and I were not close… in fact, there were quite a few events in my family life that would have been better off without him. He’d been in & out of prison all his life, just like his younger brother… alcoholics, drug users… the works.

Though, I harbor no ill will towards him… I just wasn’t compelled to attend his funeral. I wasn’t even compelled to be a comfort to my mother. She asked that I write a poem for her to eulogize at his burial… and I did. That was meaningful as I tried to write feelings that fell from my mother’s heart.

Only once did I feel the need to speak with him. And that was the day before he passed. I had the strangest feeling I needed to call him and tell him it was ok to let go and move on. Did I do that? No… the feeling passed after an hour. Do I regret that? No, not really. I’m not trying to be mean… but I really have no feelings about it at all.

He was terribly ill… died a most painful death with diabetes, liver disease and some other issues. I think his death reflected the agony of his life. The suffering he inflicted on others returned to him at his time of passing.

Anyway… now we have a house full of family. Our family has never been close… so it feels really awkward. My mother’s side of the family is not a prime example of morality and ethical behavior, rather quite the opposite. So- it makes my sister and I very uneasy to leave them in our home while we are at work. They are family… they don’t have money for hotels… so what could we do?

I hid stuff… how crummy is that- to not trust your own flesh & blood that you hide things precious to you…

In a way it’s nice to see them for a little while… but just please be a little while! No longer than this weekend!